Hilarious birthday card messages to make them laugh.

100 Hilarious Messages to Write in a Birthday Card

Has the greeting card aisle ever felt like a birthday-themed episode of “Survivor?” Are you tasked with the near-impossible mission of finding the perfect blend of funny and memorable, in a sea of painfully dull “best wishes” and overused “many happy returns”?

Take a deep breath, dear reader, because help is at hand. This blog post is like a lifeboat in an ocean of boring birthday sentiments. It’s packed with one-liners that will make your recipient’s day, and make you the undefeated champion of birthday humor.

We’ve done the brainstorming for you, so sit back, relax, and get ready to bring the house down. Let’s turn that polite birthday chuckle into a full-fledged belly laugh! Who knew birthdays could be this much fun?

Table of Contents

For the Young at Heart: Funny Things To Write on a Birthday Card

In this section, we’re embracing the magic of youth, no matter the actual number on the cake. Expect witty one-liners and cheeky messages that capture the spirit of those who may be adding candles to their cake, but never age in spirit or enthusiasm.

  • Still young at heart, slightly older everywhere else.
  • Forever young, but growing older.
  • You’re one year closer to becoming a wizard.
  • You’re not over the hill. You’re simply too old to climb it.
  • Old enough to know better, too old to care.
  • Aging: It beats the alternative!
  • Happy Birthday! May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
  • You’re not old, you’re youthfully challenged!
  • Age: More or less irrelevant!
  • They say age is all in the mind. The trick is keeping it from trickling down into your body.
  • Congrats on aging, but not growing up! You’re doing it right.
  • Birthdays are like pizza… the more you have, the less you want.
  • On your birthday, remember: age is just an achievement level. You’re doing great!
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. And you’ve been told A LOT.
  • Another year older, another year wiser? We’ll see.
  • Aging like fine wine… full-bodied and a bit fruity!

Related: Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad: Unique Birthday Quotes & Cards

Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad

Denial in a Card: Funny Birthday Wishes for the Perpetually Young

Who said growing older means growing up? Check out our section filled with funny birthday card messages and age jokes tailored for those who are a kid at heart, no matter the calendar count!

  • Keep calm and pretend it’s not your birthday.
  • Too old to party? Nonsense!
  • Aging? That’s for people without good skincare routines. Happy Birthday!
  • Another year, another… something.
  • Another year of lessons learned (or not).
  • Don’t count the candles, just enjoy the glow! Happy Birthday!
  • Count the wishes, not the years. Happy Birthday!
  • You’re not old, you’re… Okay, no, you’re old.
  • You’re not aging. You’re marinating.
  • Another year, another wrinkle. Oh, did I say that out loud?
  • Aging? No, you’re just ripening to perfection!

If you enjoy this article, why not also visit our collection with Huge List of 180 Funny Birthday Messages and Wishes ?

Funny Birthday Wishes.

Age With Grace: Comical Card Messages for the Vintage Souls

Catering to the fans of all things classic, this section is full of funny birthday messages sure to tickle the fancy of your vintage-loving birthday boy or girl!

  • As a vintage model, your stock is rising!
  • You’re not old, you’re vintage! And vintage is classy.
  • You’re not old, you’re… well, let’s stick with ‘vintage’! Happy Birthday!
  • Your birthday: a time to celebrate that although your chicken isn’t spring anymore, it’s still kicking. Party hard!
  • Birthdays are for laughing at age, not counting it!
  • You’re not old, you’re chronologically gifted!
  • Happy Birthday! Embrace the gray and the play.
  • You’re not getting older… you’re increasing in vintage appeal.
  • I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us.
  • Remember, ‘middle age’ is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that gets you home by 9 pm.
  • Here’s your birthday card! With your youth flying by, we need to stop making age jokes.

Related: 100 Belated Happy Birthday Wishes to Say You’re Sorry You Forgot

Featured Image for a Blog post with funny and cute belated birthday wishes.

Summit of Smiles: Over-The-Hill Jokes for Birthday Cards

This section is packed with funny birthday card messages that playfully wink at the recipient’s age, turning it into a laughing matter.

  • Over the hill? What hill? I don’t remember any hill!
  • At least you’re not under the hill!
  • You’re not over the hill, you’re on top of it!
  • You’re the oldest you’ve ever been.
  • So… Which hill is it you’re over again?
  • Sure, you’re over the hill. But aren’t the views great?
  • Over the hill? Let’s call it a plateau.
  • Who put that hill there? Happy Birthday!
  • Over the hill? Maybe. Over the drama? Definitely.

Hilarious Messages to Write in a Family Member’s Birthday Card

Is a family member’s birthday on the horizon? Brighten their day and their birthday card with our selection of funny birthday messages tailor-made to tickle your kinfolk’s funny bones!

  • Birthday wishes in this card are like candles… I couldn’t fit all of them!
  • No money inside this card, just a whole lot of birthday love!
  • It’s not your age that counts, it’s the amount of cake.
  • As much cake as you can eat, because it’s your special day!
  • Bad news – you’re a year older. Good news – there’s cake!
  • Remember, ‘age’ is just a number and ‘birthday cake‘ is just a sweet opportunity!
  • In dog years, you’re not old… oh wait, never mind!
  • Don’t think of it as getting older. It’s more like becoming a limited edition!
  • You’re not old, you’re… oh, who am I kidding? Call the fire department!
  • Happy Birthday! Let’s pop birthday balloons, not your age bubble!
  • Your age is just a number, but the fire department disagrees with your candles!
  • Happy 29th birthday! From your 110 lbs friend. (Neither of us can count well, can we?).
  • Your birthday is the perfect excuse to test the limits of cake-eating!
  • Blowing all those birthday candles is exercise, right?
  • Congrats! Another year closer to that coveted senior’s discount.
  • They say youth flies, but you’ve managed to clip its wings. Happy Birthday!
  • By next birthday, candles will cost more than the cake!
  • To my favorite family member, may your birthday be more fun than a family reunion with an open bar!

Related: 40 Crazy Funny Birthday Wishes for your Brother

Birthdays and Belly Laughs: Funny Quotes for Birthday Cards

Looking for something witty to write in a birthday card? Look no further! Our section full of funny birthday quotes is the perfect toolbox for your humorous card-writing needs.

  • Officially expired? More like officially awesome! Happy Birthday, friend!
  • “Happy Birthday! Let’s stop making age jokes when you stop counting the candles.
  • Some say the more birthdays, the better. Clearly, they’ve never been 50!
  • I hope your birthday is ‘grape’. Don’t ‘wine’ about getting older!
  • Our youth may be flying away, but at least we’re in first class. Cheers!
  • A true friend remembers your birthday, but forgets your age. So… you’re 29, right?
  • The cost of your candles now outpaces inflation. Happy Birthday!
  • Here’s to a birthday full of inside jokes, laughter, and a small fire hazard.
  • You can’t stop old age, but at least you can laugh about it!
  • If birthday candles represent wisdom, you’re practically Einstein!
  • On your birthday, let’s make fun, not age jokes! Here’s to you, friend!
  • In this birthday card, I’ve enclosed all the youth that flew away. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday! Got you a birthday card instead of a ‘youth-flying-away’ alert!

Extra Giggles: Bonus Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Card

Ever felt that one laugh is never enough? Dive into our bonus section brimming with even more funny birthday wishes to fill your birthday card with an extra dose of humor!

  • Staying young is all about perspective. Like how far you have to step back to read this card!
  • Here’s to more candles on your cake than hairs on your head!
  • As we age, things happen. Like forgetting this card in time for your birthday.
  • Wishing you more birthdays, more laughter, and more cake (rum cake, if possible)!
  • If we counted in dog years, you’d be…still pretty old! Happy Birthday!
  • Birthday balloons are like you: full of fun and refusing to come down to earth!
  • Happy Birthday to my best friend, who’s old enough to remember life before smartphones!
  • Some people say the more birthdays, the better. I say it’s a cake thing.
  • For your birthday, I totally forgot to get you a gift…I mean, I forgot you’re another year older!
  • If dad jokes were candles, you’d be a fire hazard! Happy Birthday!
  • Here’s to a wonderful birthday and a quick recovery from the weight of all those candles!
  • All the candles on your cake represent the light you bring into our lives. And the fire department on standby.
  • Happy Birthday, friend! I hope your birthday is as unforgettable as the Facebook reminder I got about it.
  • As your friend, I hope your birthday gifts multiply faster than your age.
  • Hope your birthday is fun-filled. After all, who needs making fun when there’s cake!
  • Friend, hope your birthday isn’t as expensive as the candles cost!

Also visit our article with The Best 35 Funny Birthday Wishes for you Husband

Humorous Milestones: Funny Messages for Significant Birthdays

  • Happy 25th… again! If anyone asks, we’re sticking to that story.
  • Happy 21st! May your birthday cake be as sweet as your new freedom to make alcohol purchases!
  • Happy 30th! They say 30 is the new 20, but that’s not funny anymore when you look at your bank account. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy 40th! Time to swap the birthday balloons for bifocals and the pop music for pop quizzes about your age!
  • Happy 50th! Now when you wear your birthday suit, it’s like a one-person history lesson. Keep it classy!
  • Happy 60th! Most birthdays may not be worth the fuss, but turning 60 is 6 times the reason to celebrate!”
  • Happy 70th! Remember, you’re not old, you’re just 70 years young!
  • Happy 80th! Here’s a birthday card reminder that you’ve seen more history than a high school textbook!
  • A toast to your 90th! Not many people make it this far, making you not just my best friend, but a living legend!
  • Happy 100th! For a birthday cake with 100 candles, I’ve alerted the fire department. Have a great birthday!
  • Just heard pickles celebrate their 100th birthday by getting canned. Don’t worry, you’re aging much better!
  • With every milestone, remember that age is like underwear; it creeps up on you when you least expect it!
  • Remember, humor can be subjective, so make sure these messages suit the humor of the birthday person.

Related50+50 Fun, Sweet and Inspiring Birthday Wishes

And there you have it! A collection of funny birthday card messages to sprinkle some laughter on the sweet icing of their birthday cake. We may not be able to add more birthdays to life, but with a dash of humor, we can certainly add more life to those birthdays. Remember, age is just a number and while most people get caught up in the count, few people know how to make it count. So, bring out the giggles, write that birthday card, and make your loved one’s day as memorable as possible. After all, a birthday filled with laughter is a birthday well celebrated.

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author avatar
Yiannis Kalliantas

Yiannis Kalliantas (He/Him) has worked for more than 15 years in the hotel industry, organizing all kinds of social events like birthday parties and wedding receptions.

He has been one of the top contributors on Birthday Wishes Expert since the launching of the site. Yiannis has curated hundreds of articles and he is committed to the mission of our site to helping people from all around the world find the right birthday wish on every occasion.

He has an MBA in Tourism, and is an avid city photographer. His recent work on street photography in Athens, Greece can be found on his website IWalkAthens.com.